Welcome to Realmindz!

Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid
Albert Einstein

Hello, welcome to Reamindz.

This is a blog about the journey we parents’ can do to better understand our children. My journey is from Sweden and here are stories from my own life blended with content that enriches me and my sons’ lives. All children are unique and my ambition is to collect my thoughts together with great content from all possible sources. My mission is to give everyone something to make the everyday life as a parent a bit easier.

Eight years ago I divorced and began the sole responsibility for raising my sons. The boys’ mother moved to another city to create a new family and she now has two other kids. In the beginning, they met together two weekends a month and now it is once a month.

It has been a period of laughter and tears, hope and despair, joy and sorrow. As an adult, I have had the opportunity to manage my own situation, my feelings. But for my sons, it has been harder. The void of a parent creates a hole in the soul and affects behavior.

Ever since the day I chose to accept my role as a single full time father, I looked for ideas to make life easier for all of us.

Often, I have found simple, practical tips on different things. Or instructions on how to do something if the child behaves in a certain way.

However, I have seen very little of how to think like a parent. Personally, I feel that parenting and upbringing has become a bit taboo.

There seems to be many channels that affect us in different ways. There is much literature, including blogs and websites that tell us how we should be and how our children should act. But there was nothing that talked about developing self-motivation and personally, each child and family is unique, so the “shoulds” don’t fit.

Every time I talk with other parents and professionals about how we can become better at leading the personal growth of our children I feel increased positive energy in the conversation and the interest in learning more.

My dream is that my children will feel that I have given them the ability to feel empowered by giving them life experiences required to become self-sufficient and develop their inner drive to achieve their dreams.

Six years ago I was asked – “What would the book about yourself be titled?” And I answered – “The man with three faces.” That answer was the beginning of me starting to describe how I find the balance in my life, as a man, as family father and as Johan, the professional.

Then I was asked – “Johan, how do you keep up with everything you’re doing when you’re a single father?” At that point I began to write down my strategies as a father –  that is the Mind & Live “Abilities” I wanted to give to my sons. These strategies have become the cornerstone in my parenting. As it happened all my strategies started with a C and they were 11 by the number, so I call them my 11C’s

Together these 11C’s provided a thrust forward for our whole family. Like all families, we still have much work ahead but within this framework each of us can continue to evolve and become better.

Welcome to Realmindz

I am the father who is hunting for the mindset that creates the ability to feel successful as a parent parenting

Johan Wiklander

PS! Before you go! I want to know more about you. Write me a reply where you are from. I’d be super grateful  if you would write what “a successful parent” is to you.

3 thoughts on “Welcome to Realmindz!

  1. Toni Hager says:

    Hi I’m the mom of two grown daughters living with a very rare disability called “TUBBS3 with Moebius,Syndrome”, and the founder & director of a private christian school for children with special needs!

    I’m excited to be a part of this group and look forward to learning & encouraging each other on our unique journey’s.

    I often experience parents feeling beaten down from their child’s behavior so they give up. They don’t know what to do or where to turn. We teach them new parenting skills making them stronger (give them a backbone).

    Over the past thirty years, I have learned this nugget of truth — “Most kids with special needs don’t want pity they want a chance.”

  2. Johan says:

    Hi Toni, nice to see you here. Looking forward to enroll Realmindz and hear your comments and listen to your experience. / Johan

  3. Lisa C says:

    Hi! My husband and I are parents of 5 adult kids and 5 grandkids. Two of our kids, 19-year-old boy/girl twins, have FASD. Even though we had many years of parenting “experience” before we adopted our twins 16 years ago, to this day, every day still feels like we are new parents!! We are beginning to face issues with our twins becoming young adults that we never had to even consider when our other children were getting ready to leave our family “nest” and launch into their lives as adults. I want to be the very best parent and grandparent I can be — and I am really looking forward to gaining more insight from you all on how to continue giving our twins all the tools they need….and not go crazy in the meantime! :0)

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