I Can – The Language of Resilience – Part III

by Michael Ballard

The I Can part of the language of resilience is about owning the issue and working towards completion or accomplishment. This language is spoken in present and or future icantphil-sebastian-fbooktense about something to be done. We take the can’t out!

I Can language includes:

  • I Can Use my problem solving and creativity skills to get a safe and productive solution to the issues that bother or concern me to help myself.
  • I Can Talk to others about things that scare or bother me
  • I Can Find Ways to solve problems I face alone and with others
  • I Can Control Myself when I’m feeling like doing something not right or dangerous
  • I Can Figure Out when it is a good time to talk to someone a
  • I Can Plan how to take action to create respectful and positive outcomes

To continue on with the BMX Bike example from the previous columns:

Imagine your child comes home and they suddenly says:  “I hate that stupid bike/sport”.

It is not the time to say “I told you so.” Now is the time to engage in non judgmental tones and ask a probing question like:

“So, what’s changed?” or “So, are you feeling safe?” or “Want to talk about it?” 

In this way, we are engaging with them, using a caring tone, and gently working to pull them into a conversation. Then once we have them define the issue/problem work with the child to consider options to improve or resolve the current situation. The goal is NO judgement and learn what the issue is.

  • Is it a people issue?
  • Is it an issue with the bike?
  • Is it an issue with a skill to perform and enjoy the bike?

Help them develop their problem solving skills and creativity skills to start to craft a solution they will feel empowered over, keep them safe and you can sleep well with.

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So until next time Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life

Michael Ballard

Interested in taking a full class on Resiliency visit
https://www.udemy.com/user/michael-harry-ballard/

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