What are we to do when kids protest and refuse to do what they are supposed to? How to explain that something is important and necessary for them? How to be frank and sincere and set up deals with kids?
Today I had go to the previous place of work to settle down a couple of issues and was forced to took my kid to the kindergarden. All the way my 3-year-old boy was wondering: “Why are we going to that place? Why do you go to work? Why do you leave me? Why can’t I go to work with you” etc. I felt puzzled, and then I realized that all of us should learn how to explain a compulsory situation and stay sincere with our kids.
We Lost Ability to Speak the Truth
First of all we need to look up the proper words to explain things based on kid’s level of perception. The second indispersable skill is listening and understanding your kid’s concerns, anxiety and fears. The third is about giving the kid enough freedom to make decisions and follow his own way. It’s all about learning to love, because true love is trust and acceptance.
HINT 1: It’s highly important to be able to tell your kid the truth. Parents need to be sincere and open-hearted enough to explain things as is, taking into consideration the kid’s age and mental maturity.
When your kids asks about something, answer the whole truth, even if he/she is 3 years old. Your response should be clear and credible. Maybe this won’t lead to what you’re trying to achieve, but this will be the best imaginable basis for the loving and trusting relationship with children.
Smart parents try to tell his kid about their desires, help him understand their problems and intentions. For example, even if you need to take him to the kindergarden to have some rest, to meet a friend or even go to the gym, try to explain it. Acting like this, you can fulfill the predefined plans without having to hear all these weeping and tantrums.
HINT 2: Any time when you need kids to do something, you can offer them several options to choose from. Kids like to think that they have some freedom to make choice on their own. But these should be the different options of the same actions or events.
E.g. you want the kid to eat some cheesecakes, ask him/her: “How many cheesecakes would you like to have: 3 or 5?” This works better than simply asking if he/she would like to have cheesecakes.
We Dominate with Our False Authority
We make them eat, watch, do what they really don’t want, go where they don’t want, sleep when they don’t want. Having no idea about what is life, we tend to dominate with our false authority. We can’t even discern what our body says, since for a long time we live in our minds and don’t feel our bodies.
Most children understand the situation better than adults, because they are honest with themselves. Being entangled in their lies, parents can’t grasp even the basic things. Floating in the illusory skies of beliefs and delusions, we are often stunned by our kids’ conclusions, decisions and ideas. Their minds seem to be more sober in comparison with ours. So it could be reasonable to consult with your child like with an equal person.
We live in our imaginable world where we all consider ourselves to be all-knowing supermen, teachers, mentors, healers – all kinds of supreme authorities. That could be a harmful illusion for raising independently thinking kids.
Trust you children. Keep track of their inner signals.
Remember: If you step over the kid’s feelings and ideas, he will treat you exactly the same, when he grows up